Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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