We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
did you just send me my own nude
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
