I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
