if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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