Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
