big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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