Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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