Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
