Soap is not a condiment
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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