Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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