i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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