dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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