I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
