Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Cover your peen. We're going out.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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