he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
