They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
