Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Your topless pictures make me question reality
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
