he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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