i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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