I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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