walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
