Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
