so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
