i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
