would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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