So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
