You work out of a Hotel?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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