NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
