I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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