New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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