So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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