Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I did not marry a roomba.
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