Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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