So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
