i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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