note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
