I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
