Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
