I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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