I think I am morally bankrupt
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
