No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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