In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
