If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
