You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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