Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
