he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
