Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
