There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
