apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Duck Duck Cougar?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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