i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
