East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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